Knitting in the Shadows

Happy Birthday Kitty!

Eighteen years ago Friday, at the tail end of a visit from my mother, I spent an afternoon walking through the zoo with my mother and my husband (Golf Pro).  We were walking through the zoo because my cousin had found it to be an effective solution to what I'll euphemistically call "delayed onset labor".

It worked!

Eighteen years ago yesterday, after a long labor, mostly spent trying to persuade my already willful daughter to turn her head, Kitty lay on my chest, looking up at me with beautiful blue eyes while her mother, grandmother, father, and godmother looked down at the miracle. It was the last time she voluntarily got up before 7:30 a.m.

Over the years, she's spent a lot of time with Grandmother

Doing things near water....

Making music

 

And growing up

 

 

or not...

She was a vibrant, creative child; and she's a vibrant creative woman.

There's too much to say to put in one post -- and though she deserves it, I'm just not going to write a post about her sense of humor, or the wonderful fiction she writes, or the paintings (several of which grace our walls), or the drawings and pen & ink images, or the music, or Shakespeare.  I won't share the struggles and passions -- because they're HER life, and one thing is true: she's a bit private.

Happy Birthday Kitty.  Welcome to the world of responsibility and freedom.

I love you!

Spring!

Last year, for Mothers' Day, my daughters and I went to the nursery and bought lovely annuals to fill the planters on my back patio.

This year, my lovely daughter (BookWorm) took me to see Gatsby.

I did have a moment when I wished we could go buy flowers too, but I realized that I'd not yet done the work that needs to happen before I can fill the back porch with flats of blossoms.  Just the thought of sweeping up the dead leaves, and pulling the old dead plants and new unwelcome volunteers (weeds) out of the planters was enough to rest in the fun of popcorn and flappers.

So... my planters remain lifeless and drab.  But the yard is doing it's thing!

The fruit trees bloomed and are now all leafed out and green.  The volunteer strawberry plants are spreading and blooming --- I see lots of strawberries in our future (perhaps this year we'll pay attention and pick them).

The lilac tree (I swear I thought it was a bush when I bought it ten years ago, but it's two stories tall now) outside the kitchen window is blooming -- has bloomed.  The only flowers left worth oohing over are dangling outside BookWorms window.  I almost missed this one, since from the patio it's hidden by arbor vitae, and from the kitchen it's hidden by the very showy crab-apple (whose flowers are also fading).

The lilac bushes behind the gazebo are starting to bloom.  Their buds are still closed tight, looking dark and mysterious.  But soon, they'll burst open and flood the yard with that sweet smell.

The lilac tree in the far back of the yard is blooming a bit.  This is it's first year for blooms, and there aren't as many as I'd like, but I caught them just in time to pick two for the living room.  Such lovely frail flowers!

What? you don't have three (four) different varieties of lilacs in your yard?  Poor thing.  Having the varieties means you get lilacs for weeks and weeks, not just a few days.  We even get some in the fall... I've got one fall blooming lilac.

But the lilacs aren't alone.  The Wisteria are going like gangbusters this year.  The one on the porch is putting on the best display I've ever seen.  Now I understand the wisteria stained glass window!  And...   the wisteria in the back on the arbor is blooming for it's first year.

(I wonder, is it the drought last year? or the insane amount of rain from this year that's doing this?  If it's the rains, we can duplicate it with mad early watering next year (but I'm pretty sure I won't).

The phlox and sedum and the Canterbury bells are blooming in the front yard.

One of the clematis is blooming by the bridge.

It's all glorious enough (almost) to get me to ignore the water grass that's taking over the front beds and the forest worth of "volunteer" mulberry trees that we'll need to hack down/pull out and otherwise do away with.

(and yes, there are pictures ... and no the phone still isn't releasing them)

Congrats to my Beautiful StepDaughter

Last weekend, my lovely stepdaughter LJ donned a traditional robe and a traditional if somewhat odd hat, gathered together with a bunch of like-attired folk, and participated in an age-old ritual of passage.

She sat in a marginally comfortable hall while leaders and elders droned on a bit about things that are important, but which we'd all be better off hearing one bit a day instead of all at once.

She listened as those of her peers who seem to have done everything already were praised for their achievements before giving speeches of their own.

And she celebrated with a large congregations worth of fellows as they all transitioned to the next stages in their lives.

I missed it.  I was working (and they're stingy as all get out with the number of tickets).  But GolfPro was there to witness, and beam with pride, as his daughter graduated from college. In FOUR years.  (yes, I know that's standard -- but I also know that when you start not knowing what you really want to do, it can sometimes take longer).

I did, however get to enjoy a wonderful celebratory dinner which I think stands as a testament to the way blended families ought to behave.  There, at one table, swapping stories, and smiling and generally feeling like one collective proud happy family, sat LJ's half-sisters (Kitty and Bookworm (half sisters on one side) flanked A. (half sister on the other side) her mother, her maternal aunt, her step-mother and her father.  We were untied in our love for LJ, and in our appreciation and acceptance of each other. 

And when the food was eaten and the bill paid, we left after shuffling who rode with who so that Dad, Maternal Aunt, and Half-Sisters could go to the store to pick out pie and ice cream, while Mother, Step-Mother, the Star (LJ) and the Friend could come to our house to brew coffee, open up the table and gather chairs for an impromptu dessert. 

I love it when families blend together to support their kids and each other instead of sniping about old hurts.  I'm so pleased to be part of such sanity twice (my parents and step-parents get along beautifully all four together, and have done it so well forever -- so much so that I was stunned the first time I learned that divorcing families are often nasty to each other).

All too soon, she'll be back in her home-town, finding an awesome job, and starting her adult life.  We've enjoyed having her visit for dinner during her college years, and will miss that.  But we're so proud of her achievement. 

(and if my phone and my computer decide to converse again, I'll post a picture)

 

 

Don't Let Plans Stop You

I had a plan for this months blogging.

That plan included lots of pictures.  There were going to be pictures of the prom, pictures of the graduation celebration, pictures of Mothers' Day stuff, pictures of the spring burgeoning about my yard, pictures of the Birthday, pictures of the H.S. Graduation celebration ....

ahem.

I've got pictures.  Some.  Not as many as I'd like.  But my phone (whose camera records more megapixels than my camera... go figure) and my computer are no longer on speaking terms.  This means that the best I can do is email my pictures to myself.  And when I do that, the camera shrinks them "for" me...  until they're too small to be worth much on the blog.

In frustration, I let that stop me from blogging!  I "couldn't" blog until I fixed the picture issue.

????

That's silly.

It's also a bit of a wake up call.  How many things do we not do because we can't do them the way we'd planned?

I had planned to set up my 90% finished living room with new shelves for the DVDs (since the old ones no longer stand up, having had their bottoms warped), and with a new gadget to allow me to stream my music from the hard drive (where I'm uploading all my CD's) instead of keeping all the CDs on the massive shelf.

I can't find a DVD storage unit that is both attractive and sturdy enough not to fall over (I already have falling over ones) without bolting them to the wall.  Thus, I've not quite finished putting those things away. 

I can't seem to get the folks at the local purveyors of electronic gadgets to identify the gadget I need to stream my audio stuff through my stereo (they all say they know it can be done, they've seen it done, they know people who do it, but they don't know what it takes to get it done).  Instead of just setting up the stereo the way it was, I'm waiting to get the gadget, and we're relying on the bad radio that was built into the intercom in our house for music.

I'm letting the fact that I can't do it the way I planned to do it interfere with getting it done.  How dumb is that?

Sure, I'll keep burning my CD's to the system so that when we figure out the how, we can implement it... but today, I'll focus more on putting together what I CAN do instead of why I can't get it the way I want it.

If we look, I'll bet we'll find lots of places in our lives where we've let not being able to do things the WAY we want has kept us from doing them at all.  I know that there are several other things in my life that suffer from this silliness.  I won't share them all, but here's one more:

There are lots of things in the house that constitute clutter now.  I'd like to get them out ... into the garage perhaps ... and then sort them for sale and/or donation.  But... the garage is a mess.  And the weather and my schedule haven't combined to allow me to clean it out to make room either for the stuff cluttering my house, or to sort what's already there, much less more stuff.  Somehow, I've let this prevent me from de-cluttering the house, from getting rid of some stuff that I know will wind up at GoodWill, and from simply chucking things out there for later contemplation. 

This does not sound like a win win to me.

Planning is a good thing.  But letting plans keep you from doing what you want to do... not so much. 

 

 

Weepy in the Audience

Last week, after dashing about like a bit of a crazy person, dashing out the door at work to fetch Bookworm from practice to scramble to the salon for her facial... I escorted a fresh-faced gal to her sister's last concert of her High School Career.

I hadn't thought about that until they had finished their first piece.  As they launched into their second piece, which was an Elegy, I realized that this was the last time I would sit in that auditorium to hear my daughter play. It was poignant and sad times two.  And yes, I cried.

Alas, I didn't get decent pictures.  My phone can only do so much in the dark from the back half of the auditorium.

 

Before it was over, they got the Seniors to stand.  There she is, in the front row... blurry.  Just imagine you're looking through my teary eyes.

PROM!

One of the many quintessential High School Events is Prom.  Around here, the issue of whether anyone in our house would be going prom has long been an open question.  For a while, it looked like no one would be going.  And then, as things are wont to do, things changeed.

Bookworm was sure she didn't want to go, but her friends wanted her to go.  The nudged, and pushed, and nagged, until she caved. 

And we went into high gear.

Golf Pro took her to an event to get prom dresses without spending a small fortune.

We conspired to give her a useful birthday present ---

A BLUE FACE!

no.... wait....

A Mummy!

no?  (okay, a facial)  and....

French Manicure from the Dark Side?  nahhhh

Very cool manicure that matches her dress.....

a charming date and some laughter.

We made it through the various challenges, missed timing, and hair disasters (luckily not Bookworm's, but the friend who was supposed to come to our house for pre-prom photos and then drive to prom had one that meant she was too late to come by at all).  They went to the Prom, came back to change clothes, and at midnight, I dropped them off at the Y for post prom swimming (they declined to climb the rocks).

Best of all, they arrived home safely after having a good time.

(Made me wish I had a dancy party to go to where _I_ could get all dressed up and wear a wrist corsage).

May - A Month of Milestones

May is a very full month -- it's so full of milestones that I veel like I'll have travelled cross country by the time it's over.  So you'll be reading about them, one by one.  Consider this post a preview. 

Over the next few weeks, you'll be reading about ...

1.  Kitty's last concert playing Clarinet in High School

2. Bookworm's PROM

3. My Dear Aunt Sylvia's 8th Birthday

4. Bookworm's last soccer game in High School

5. LJ's College Graduation

5b. Mother's Day

6. My beloved Step-Sister's birthday.

7. Kitty's 18th Birthday

8. Kitty's High School Graduation

Plenty to do in the next few weeks, eh?

I apologize for being a typical predictable mom.  In my head, I'm still only about 30 (maybe.)  And my daughters (who weren't even born yet when I was 30) are still about 4 & 6 in my head.  When they're not newborns, gazing at me for the first time.  I still can't believe that my babies are doing things like GOING to high school, much less going to prom, graduating, turning EIGHTEEN!! 

The only way I can be sure this stuff is real, is to take pictures and once I've done that... well... the best way I can share them with the family members who might care is post them.

So... May is a Month of Family Milestones.

Weirdly, you're going to get things out of order -- I've got actual pictures of PROM already, but the Concert pictures are still in their device.

There may also be knitting content.

 

 

 

Doing it the Hard Way -- Yet Again

Despite my promise to myself to start taking it easy in any number of ways, I find that I've gone off again and done something the hard way.

This time, its a hat.  A simple stockinette watch-cap with a 1x1 ribbed cuff. 

How hard can that be?

Well.  ...  evidently I can make even simple watch caps tricksy.

Time was that my father could pop into the ArmyNavy store and pick up a simple watch cap (a knitted tube with an X seam across the top), and the seam was even and the hat was roomy enough, and it all worked out fine.  Lately, however, my father has complained that when he buys watchcaps these days, he finds that they'll start out fitting nicely around his head, covering part of his ears, just the way he likes them.  At least they sit that way when he first puts them on, and pulls them down into place.

But then, as he wears them, the slowly creep up until his ears are more exposed than he'd like, and there's a funny pointy peaky thing going on that he finds ... unattractive. 

So, I said I'd knit him up a custom cap.

I could have simply measured his head (which I did) for it's circumference and the optimal rise for his size, and cast on, knit a lovely tube (with a cuff his preferred length), and then done a nice seam -- or even a nice kitchenered cross on the top.  Yep, I could have simply tried to replicate the Army Navy watch cap that worked just fine for all these years.

Instead... I measured his head six ways from Sunday ... and started making a hat that will fit him precisely.

Seriously. 

I measured from the line on his brow where he likes the hat to start over the top of his head to the place at the back where he likes it to end.  I measured from the place on his ears that he likes it to reach over the top of his head to that same spot on the other ear.  I noted that those numbers do not match.

I measured around his head at the place that he likes the hat's bottom edge to sit. 

I measured from the bottom edge on the back to the spot at which his head starts reducing in circumference -- and then measured the width across the back of his head and the depth -- from front to back at that spot. (Those numbers don't match either).

See ... six.

I cast on, knit the rib to his depth, knit a turning row (wow, sounds like the start of a regular watch cap to me).  Then, I reduced by 4 stitches to keep the outer ribbing from stretching too far over the inner ribbing (cause I'm a little OCD).

But to get the hat to shape exactly right -- I worked short rows along the sides (cause his ear to ear distance is longer than his brow to occiput distance).   And I did short rows all the way around because the rise in the front

is only about an inch beyond the ribbing while the rise in the back is more like four inches.

  And then I decreased with the decreases offset to keep the back and front narrower than the sides...

And eventually worked kitchener seams across the top for that x seam,

yielding a hat that is exactly his measurements.

And learned that all he really wanted was the replica of the Army Navy Hat.

So I'm knitting one of those too.  (So, hard way first, easy way next)

Perception - Cross Post

Perception is an interesting thing.  As a Massage Therapist, and Bodywork provider, I am increasingly aware of the differences in perceptions that people have about what I do.  And I notice that people’s perceptions of what massage therapists do, affects their perception of our professionalism, and that affects how they treat us.

These perceptions are guided, at least in part, by a number of things.  But in the end, it seems to boil down to this:

Folks tend to see Massage and Bodywork in one of three ways:

• Massage is part of preventive healthcare and/or health maintenance
• Massage is part of reactive healthcare (used to fix a problem)
• Massage is a luxury

Sometimes, folks also see that Massage (as part of healthcare) can be beneficial for conditions unrelated to muscle responses (including depression, anxiety, asthma, headaches … etc. etc.).  And sometimes, people still see massage therapy as something …. slightly ... turpitudinous.

How do people come have one opinion over the other?

Some of it is likely to be prior experience and background.  We can’t change that.

But other things come into play.

Media.

How massage therapy is portrayed in movies and on television shows colors our views about massage therapy.  Unfortunately, it’s rarely shown as part of healthcare; it’s mostly shown as something available to those mysteriously wealthy people who don’t appear to have jobs, and if they do, those jobs clearly do not pay for the wardrobes and cars and vacations they have.  That can be changed, but it will take a lot of time before the folks who make movies start showing preventive healthcare as part of the story line.

Location

Yep, just like the old Realtor’s say, location is important.  It impacts people’s perceptions.

When massage therapists are found mostly in salons and spas, folks tend to think of them as luxuries.

When massage therapists are found mostly in Chiropractors’ offices, folks tend to think of them as related to healthcare, but only to the extent that they think of Chiropractic care as healthcare and not some bizarre charlatan’s trick – and only to the extent that the care is related to backs.

When massage therapists are found connected or adjacent to Physical Therapist’s offices, folks tend to think of massage as related to healthcare, but only to the extent that they are involved with fixing something that has gone wrong.  Massage can help you recover faster from knee surgery, but not keep you healthy.

When massage therapists are found in strip malls, people tend to get … inappropriate ideas about massage.

How people perceive massage and bodywork affects how they perceive massage therapists.

If they perceive massage as part of healthcare, then they perceive massage therapists as professionals.  They also perceive us as having real training – knowing about physiology and anatomy.  And they value our work.

But if they perceive massage as a luxury…. They tend to have less respect for therapists.  They don’t think of our training as having been rigorous.  And some still forget that there are boundaries they ought not cross.

Perceptions are strong, and they change our behavior.  But knowledge can change perceptions.

This means that one of my jobs as a massage therapist is to educate my clients and those people with whom I come in contact.

Education

But … when healthcare providers start recommending massage to their patients, those patients begin to see that massage and body work can be part of overall healthcare.  Luckily, more and more healthcare providers are beginning to discover that massage and other bodywork can be hugely beneficial to overall healthcare.  This is especially true today, when people are being asked to do so much more each day, with slowly decreasing resources.  People are working longer hours, and processing more and more information daily; and thus more and more people are suffering stress.  And stress can lead to all kinds of illnesses and all sorts of pain.

When stress leads to pain, current medical practices seem to be to medicate it.  Pain killers and muscle relaxants may temporarily relieve the backaches and headaches and sore necks.  But they don’t cure the problem.  Massage, on the other hand, can relieve the intermediate cause of the pain (by softening over tight muscles, and eliminating “knots”.  And, while massage can’t eliminate the root source of the problem (high stress jobs without job security, increasing bills, less time for self, etc.), massage can give the body a chance to escape from the perpetual fight or flight responses that those high stress jobs impose.

Unfortunately, one massage will not resolve months or years of stressful living.

However, regular massage can dramatically reduce the impact of the high stress lifestyle.  In so doing, massage can reduce the likelihood that a given person will experience some of the more debilitating stress-induced conditions.  And, it can help alleviate a lot of the pain from the medical conditions linked to stress, including depression, anxiety, headaches, even asthma.  Massage can also alleviate some of the discomfort associated with other conditions (even things like COPD, if the proper techniques are used by a well-trained therapist).  Massage and bodywork can be extraordinarily helpful in places you wouldn’t expect them to be (like addiction recovery).

Sure, massage is a treat.  Anything that feels good is a treat.  And things that let you feel good afterwards (even if they don’t feel great at the time, as is the case with certain therapeutic massage techniques) can also be treats.  But massage and body work are also great preventive medicine. (kind of like fresh fruit -- a treat that keeps you healthy).

How people perceive massage and bodywork affects how they perceive massage therapists.

If they perceive massage as part of healthcare, then they perceive massage therapists as professionals.  They also perceive us as having real training – knowing about physiology and anatomy.  And they value our work.

But if they perceive massage as a luxury…. They tend to have less respect for therapists.  They don’t think of our training as having been rigorous.  And some still forget that there are boundaries they ought not cross.

Perceptions are strong, and they change our behavior.  But knowledge can change perceptions.

This means that one of my jobs as a massage therapist is to educate my clients and those people with whom I come in contact.  (Guess what -- you are among the people with whom I come in contact ....)

Fitting -- A Quickie Tutorial..

Okay, okay.  It's not fair to go around saying I'm working with Elizabeth to teach HER the magic of fitting your sweater and not share what I know with the rest of you.

The first step of any modification is to get accurate measurements.  In this case, they're YOUR measurements.  If you're human, you aren't really as symmetrical as most knitting patterns would have you believe.  You'll also need to mark the center of the front of your sweater.

For bust dart measuring, you'll need three numbers (which will take four measurements):

1. The difference between the front length of your body and the back length of your body. (A-B vs A-C on the pretty pictures).

2. The distance from the top of your shoulder (A on the pictures)  to your nipple (D) for top-down sweaters, and the distance from the hemline (B) to your nipple (D) for bottom up sweaters.

3. The distance between you bust points (nipples).

I'm not going to pretend that you'll know exactly what that meant, because even though some of you know, some of you won't.  And what good is a tutorial that doesn't actually show you all the steps?

For the first number, you'll need two measurements: the distance from the top of your shoulder to your hemline down the front and back of your body. To take that measurement, you'll need to find the top of your shoulder.  Ordinarily, I would say that you need that lovely point at the top of the shoulder where that little bump is --

(yes, I know -- exaggerated nipples -- but either my imaginary model is cold, or I've done it on purpose to make it impossible to miss where they are for measuring purposes).   I'd say that you should just go straight in from that lovely knob (formed by the the acromio-clavicular joint)  but I've been noticing that those of us who spend our lives knitting, and typing, and driving, and otherwise living in front of our bodies wind up rolling our shoulders forward ..

and thus using that knob will screw up your measurements unless you change your posture. (And yes, I know, I'm not the best artist in the world, so sue me.) (And yes, I'm likely to blog about that posture thing sometime soon too)

So, you start at the top of your shoulder straight up from the nipple (A), and measure snugly against your body to your hemline down your back (C).  Then, you start at the same place (A), and measure snugly down your body to your hemline down the front of your body (B)over your bust-line (along the nipple line in fact (D)).  For most of us, those numbers aren't the same. 

Why snugly?  Well, because that's how you'll find out the length your sweater will really need to be (unless your sweater falls straight down from your chest).  And why at the nipple line?  Because that's the longest line .... and you need to avoid going straight down from your shoulder, or you'll miss that part. 

This difference is what we're accounting for when we put in bust darts.  Assuming that the front measurement is longer than the back measurement, you'll subtract the back measurement from the front, to discover how much fabric you need to add. 

To figure out how many extra rows of knitting you'll need to do in the bust dart zone, multiply the number of inches you need to add by the number of rows per inch in your gauge (if it's less than half an inch, it's not really enough to worry about, and you can quit while you're ahead).   The trick is that you can't just add these rows any old where.  And you can't actually let these rows go all the way to the seam line (much less all the way around).

Imagine for a moment, that you need to add two inches to the length of the front of your sweater.  The back of your sweater is now 17 inches long.  If you simply knit the front to be 19" long, you're going to have a bit of trouble sewing up the side seam.  There will be this ugly pucker thing. And if you're doing it in the round... ..  Nope, the trick is to add the length only in the middle (pretty much between your nipples), where you need it, while not adding at the side seam, where you don't.

That's where the next two measurements come in.

Okay, short rows.  Right.  But where do you start?

To figure that out, you'll need to know the distance from the top of your shoulder to the nipple (A-D) for top down garments (or the hem to the nipple (B-D) for bottom up garments).  Part of the challenge is that it's not just a given number, since the total depth of the dart does impact the distance before the nipple line at which you'll start your dart. It's not supremely simple, but generally speaking, your figure that out by adding an inch to the depth of your dart, dividing that number in half, and starting that distance above (or below) your nipple line.

So, if you're adding 2" to the front of your sweater, you'd add an inch, getting 3". Divide that in half, and you got 1 1/2 inches.  You'd start your dart 1 1/2" above (or below) your nipple line.  

 NOTE: This applies only when the additional length is all because of your bust!  If you're also adding length to accommodate a belly (or if you're only adding for a belly because you're knitting this sweater for a beloved guy who likes beer too much), then these rules will change.

When you work the dart in our example, you'll work an inch worth of short rows, then and inch normally, and another inch of short rows.

Wait, short rows?  

Yeah, short rows.  And that's where that last measurement comes in.  You'll need that extra length for the full width of your bust, but not the full width of our sweater.  How do you do that??  By starting with your dart about an inch outside that nipple line. 

To get there, you start with the distance between your nipples (D-D).  To simplify where to start, divide that distance in half, and add and inch.  So, if the distance between your nipples is 8", divide that in half to get 4", and add an inch, leaving you with 5". Then multiply that number by the number of stitches per inch your gauge gets for you. (So, if you're working with 5 st/in, you'll need 25 stitches.)  What do you do with this number?  

You make sure you know where the center line is for the front of your sweater (E), and start some short rows:

Once you've reached the row at which you'll start your short rows, work to the center marker (E), and then work the number of stitches you determined above (here it's 25 stitches) that will get you to one inch past D.  Then, using your short row method of choice, wrap and turn (or turn and yo).  Work back to the center line (E), and  continue on for that same number of stitches past the center mark, wrap and turn (or turn and yo).  For the next row, work to the turn, pick up the wrap (or yo) according to your preferred method, knit several* stitches more, and turn again.  Repeat that last "row" until you've worked half the number of rows you need to add. You'll be happier with yourself in about an inch if you mark the place of the turning point on both sides.  (*Note, that "several stitches" shoudl be the same number of stitches every time.  Three will do just fine for aran weight, but you might want six or so for fingering).

Then work an inch even.

Next, reverse your short row shaping.  So... work past the center until you reach the stitch at which you last turned, turn, and work past the center until you reach the stitch at which you last turned.  Turn and work until whatever your "several stitches" were before the last turn.  Repeat until you've worked the remaining number of rows you need to add.  Voila,  Pick up/conceal your wraps on the next round and you're done!

Suddenly, you've added two inches to the center of the front of your sweater.  Voila, a 17" back and a 19" front... and the side seams MATCH.