Holiday Musings

The Holiday Cards are starting to come in... and it got me thinking about the tradition of sending Holiday Cards.

First, of course, it got me wondering whether we have any cards in "back-stock" and how many I'll need to buy, and how many I'll be sending .... but as I stood in line at the post office to buy stamps today, I began  musing...

To whom does one send these cards? and why?

When I first got married, I found that my husband had an interesting dichotomous view of cards.  On the one hand, he didn't see any reason to add notes to cards, and didn't really want to be involved in their sending at all, but when I asked him to tell me who he wanted to send cards to -- he gave me a list of about a hundred people.... without thinking about it very hard. (Lots of them were business acquaintences).

 I send holiday cards to all of the family members that I so rarely get to see (and, as I do with some of the friends who receive cards, I typically enclose an Annual Letter that sort of summarizes the past year so that folks we don't see enough can keep up with our shenanigans).  I also send them to the friends I'd claim as family if I could.  Those are easy.  But there are also those whom I've not seen in ten years or more -- and some whom I've never met but who were Golf Pro's friends back before I met him.  There are some people about whom I wonder -- our only contact seems to be this annual exchange of holiday cards.

There was a point when it seemed like we were sending a hundred to a hundred fifty cards out, and not getting so many in return... and I got all anal and weird and set up a spread sheet to keep track of who we send cards to, and who we receive cards from. (It also helped me keep track of how many cards to get, and whether I'd actually send one to each person THIS year).  After awhile, I started weeding the list -- folks to whom we'd sent cards for a certain number of years without receiving a card (or other contact) began to fall off the list.  And of course, when cards came back becasue the people had moved, I either removed the person from the next year's list, or began a diligent search for the lost friend.

This year, we're a bit cash strapped. This year, I wondered whether I ought to forgo this ritual.  After all, between the cards themselves, and the newsletters, and the labels (my hands can't write that many addresses by hand), and the stamps, it gets pretty expensive to send out Holiday Cards.  We send out twenty to our "closest" family alone. 

For so many of these people, I have e-mail addresses -- why don't I just e-mail the Annual Letter along with some warm Holiday Greetings?  Or send e-cards?  Mostly because there is something special... different... more meaningful about a tangible card.  It's an object I can hold in my hand; it's a paper upon which a real person has written words just for me (even if it's just a signature).  It's a contact that the electronic media just doens't quite match.  And... it makes my mantle piece look festive ... and as the number of cards exceeds that which the mantles can hold, reminds me - visibly - for the rest of the season that there are a bunch of folks out there who care enough to send a card.

And so... because I want to keep that human connection going, I succumb to the material craze of the Holidays, and buy cards (well, okay I usually buy them in July at this amazing discount store in Maine), and buy stamps, and print, and write... and send those personal notes to my friends and family along the way.

Luckily, this year, the back-stock seems pretty full.

Comments

[kmkat]

We have been sending an annual holiday letter for about 15 years. It is a joint project of Smokey and I and has always included lots of pictures with the text. Plus we try to make it entertaining and to include both the good and bad. We've missed a couple years here and there, and more than once the letters hit the mailbox after 12/25, but we keep trying. Our *list* seems to hover between 40 and 50 and always has. A few are people with whom this is the only contact we have all year, but heck, if they send us a card we return the favor. Like you, I cannot get excited about e-mailed Christmas greetings.

And now I should get started on the envelopes; Smokey has started the letter and will finish it at work this weekend...

[Kym]

Your thoughts about card-sending echo mine exactly! I just checked my back-stock yesterday, in fact, and I started writing my annual letter in my mind earlier in the week. This weekend. . . CARDS! A tradition I actually kind of like!

[MmmYarn]

Long-winded response to: "To whom does one send these cards? And why?"
Well, I always sent them to far-away family members (uncle, aunt, grandparents) and far-away friends. I did not send one to anyone I visited over the holidays. My list was about 45 people. I think the "why" was because my mom (note: not dad!) did it when I was a kid so I signed the family card when I was young and started sending my own as part of grown-up life. I always wrote a personal sentence or two. I definitely liked the photo cards some people sent but never made one of my own.
When I moved in with my boyfriend, later husband, we sent them together and the list got bigger. I use the term "we" loosely; the job fell mostly to me. However, he had never sent them until he lived with me and saw that I did, then he wanted to join in, I guess.
I/we stopped sending cards 5 years ago. It started when I had a winter of health problems and no energy for the task. The two years after that, I remembered what a relief it was not to have that urgency of preparing 40-ish envelopes and cards with personal notes so I indulged in skipping it. Since then, I decided this is my new tradition. It works for me. I'd rather keep in touch throughout the year by initiating a phone call or sending a letter or email a couple of times. Honestly, though, not sending a holiday card got me cut from other people's "to send" list and this means I have lost touch with some people, and I do regret that. I did the spreadsheet thing, too, a long time ago in an effort to reduce my list a little and I am certain I was cut because others do the same. If you like receiving cards, you had better send them! I agree with you about the e-mailed cards: if I'm going to send one, it will go through the post. I do send one to each of my grandmothers because they really appreciate it.
Does everybody keep all the cards you get over the years? If so, how do you store them? If I were still getting 40-ish cards per year I wouldn't have room to keep them all. This summer I weeded out the ones that had just signatures and kept the holiday letters and personal notes from over the years.