Knitting in the Shadows

OnLine Security Gone Fuzzy

This past week, I've had to register not one, but two accounts at PearsonVue so that I can schedule my upcoming massage board exams.  I freely admit that this is because I'm a somewhat mad over-achiever who needs to cover every base, and thus I have bizarrely chosen to take both of the possible exams (which I perceive as giving me more flexibility).  Even so, it seems awfully silly to have to make two separate accounts to take two exams administered by the same company in the same room in the same building on the same day.

(and yes, I do think this is one more example of ways in which the folks setting things up don't think about end users).

I'm sure you're all familiar with the <sarcastic tone> lovely </sarcastic tone> feature that so many sites now have of asking you "security questions" - either to let you log on from an unfamiliar-to-them computer or to help you when you've forgotten your password.  PearsonVue is no exception.  They require you to answer two.

Alas, the first set of choices include a series of questions for which I have no lasting answers. Seriously.  They eventually do ask a set of questions that include some that involve actual facts that are unlikely to change -- (these are paraphrases)

• What is the name of the first company you were employed by?
• In what city did you meet your spouse/significant other?
• What is the first and last name of the best man at your wedding?

That set also included some that are not totally changeable, but that are subject to change:

• What is your dream occupation? (potentially changeable over time)
• What is your oldest sibling's nickname? (likely changeable - but also a question for which it is possible if not likely that multiple answers can be true simultaneously)
• What is your spouse's/significant other's nickname? (again, changeable, and multiple)

But the first set of questions (so you had to pick one) and some in the second set, included that old hackneyed and useless series: What is your favorite.....

• What is your favorite food?
• Who is your favorite actor/musician/artist?
• What was your favorite place to visit as a child?
• What is your favorite song?
• What is your favorite book?
• What was your most memorable gift as a child?
• Who is your favorite athlete?

The only question in that set that is not subject to change might have been "What is the name of your first toy animal?"  But our memories blur over time.  Some of us may remember a different animal at different times.  Me... I'd remember Lamby (or was it Lambie? or Lammy?) but, as you can see, I have no idea how I spelled it (or, more accurately, how I would have spelled it as a 2 year old). But would I still remember Lamby if I didn't also still have Lambie?

But it's the" favorite" questions that kill me.  I have no idea!  I like many different actors for many different reasons.  I enjoy a wide range of music, and would sit for days on end trying to narrow down a favorite.  Ditto movies and books.  With those, which I prefer RIGHT NOW depends on mood, time, recent events, etc.  And.... with time, I change and grow, and my tastes change and grow.  And the book I'm likely to like most right now is the one that is helping me grow in some way -- unless it's one that lets me take a trip down nostalgia lane.

The questions about childhood -- those also get me.  I have different memories at different times.  My favorite place to visit? at what age?  And how do I put into one word the joy I got out of going to Louisiana to visit first one and then the other set of grandparents -- people and houses so different in so many ways, and yet so equally full of love?  But wait, what about those glorious camping trips we took to Deep Springs on the Current River? And some days, it might be remembering how much fun it was to go to Papa's office, where I got to play on the HUGE chalk board as much as I wanted as long as I didn't erase any of those funny looking things called equations that were part of his work?

Sigh.

I know... concrete facts are likely to be easier for hackers to figure out, but at least they don't CHANGE over time.  And requiring answers that my brain can't hold because they're changeable just means that I'll write them down somewhere... and make them easier for someone to hack.

Why not go for our grandparent's birthdays? Or their middle names?  Those aren't as easy to learn from the outside, but are things we can remember.

 

 

Politics - A wee Rant

Okay.  I'm done. 

We've got another 10 weeks or so before the elections, and I'm already way past done with the political fracas.  Yep, it's true, I didn't even make it to the second of the Big Conventions.

I'm already offended by political ads.

I've already tired of the pundits who are wholly unable to present a balanced picture of any candidate, but are wicked good at presenting one like a paragon while presenting the other like a vindictive snake oil salesman determined to destroy the country.

And I'm past tired of receiving telephone calls promoting candidates, polling for my voting intentions, and urging me to stop by somewhere to pick up yard signs. (I'm contemplating lying to the rest of the pollsters who call -- just to skew their data).

I'd like all political ads and commentary to evaporate.

I loathe the two-party system, that keeps us from having real options in electing candidates who actually do stand for the same principals we do, but instead offer us puppets who tell us what the parties think we want to hear.  I'd like to see the Green Party, the Libertarian Party, the Socialist Party and any other party whose current name I've forgotten .... all of them to be on equal footing with the Big Two in every election.  I'd love to see the U.S. adopt the Australian system of Preferential Voting.  That would eliminate the fear many people have of voting for their preferred candidate instead of against one of the big two.

I'm appalled that without actively searching for it, one gets no information on the cadidates for any but the Big Two parties. (Did YOU know that we have a woman running for president?  Why isn't that all over the news, Facebook etc?)

I despise the system that lets huge corporations fund advertising campaigns that are designed to make us fear the other guy, and then hide behind the Party so we can't tell who is actually paying for things.

I'd like to find a way to REQUIRE every candidate for EVERY political office to honestly and completely answer an identical set of questions about their positions on a full panoply of issues, and another set of questions on their intentions -- what they will do if elected. I'd like them to be required to answer these questions without the help of their handlers, so we get the CANDIDATE's answers and not the PARTY's answers.  And, I'd like these answers in writing, and posted on at least one web site so that we can all go look at them, and read them, and make reasoned choices.  There is such a site, of course, but the candidates don't have to answer their questions, and often skip questions.  And candidates for local offices (and even state elections) often don't answer at all.  (And how do we know it's the candidates and not their handlers answering the questions?).  VoteSmart used to be my favorite, but they're way behind right now.  A quick google search did not yield anything useful. 

But mostly, I'd like to hear not one more word from any candidate or party, or PAC, about why the other guy is a bad choice.  I'd like to hear ONLY why any candidate (or supporter) thinks s/he is a GOOD choice.  In short, I'd like them to quit telling me why to vote against the other guy, and start telling me why I might want to vote FOR someone.

Bad Hotel

This past weekend, I had the delightful opportunity to run away with the Divine Though Blogless Elizabeth to play at the Stitches Market.  Even better, we were gifted with a hotel room for the night before, thus allowing us to hit the Market bright and early (cough) at 10:00 a.m. well rested, instead of dragging in from the three hour drive.

When choosing our hotel, we scanned the options available through Travelocity, and opted for a DoubleTree Hotel that was within a short drive from the convention.  I've always liked DoubleTree.  The lobbies are always pleasant, clean, and welcoming (and they give you warm cookies!).  There's always a decent if not downright good restaurant on site. The rooms are always clean, with nice sparkly, well appointed  bathrooms stocked with stuff you might need. The beds are always comfortable.  And they always have plenty of pillows.

At least that had been my experience. 

After our recent stay in Schaumburg, I'll think twice before choosing a DoubleTree hotel.  Now, I'll admit, part of my issue is one that could have been handled by Travelocity (who neglected to warn us that the hotel in question was undergoing renovation)-- and I may whine to them about it, but the real issues are all on DoubleTree.   

First, when we arrived, there were big signs at the edges of the parking lot directing us to the Lobby and Restaurant.  Seems reasonable.  We followed the signs to a parking lot in the back of the hotel where, at first, second, and even third glance, we could not discern a clear entrance.  There was a small tent-like thing near the building, but no sign where we could see it to alert us to the fact that it actually represented an awning over the temporary entrance.  (We eventually saw the sign, which was posted at about the level of the second story windows, and thus not in line of sight of anyone driving around the lot looking for the Reception/Lobby entrance).    It so clearly did NOT look like the entrance that we pulled into a parking space and called the hotel for guidance to that door!

When we then walked up to the door, there was not an accessible ramp near the door. Those in wheelchairs needed to roll over to the other end of the building, and then roll back again on a narrow sidewalk to get to the entrance.  For us, it was a minor inconvenience, inhibiting our rolly suitcases.  For someone less able-bodied, it would have been very frustrating.

We entered through a door clearly labeled "Emergency Exit", and peered around the corner.  Again, the sign telling us that the room they were using for the reception area was not in line of site.  It was like a wee flag at the top corner of the doorway, sticking out into the hallway.  Understated certainly fits the DoubleTree image, but this was so understated that we didn't see it until we had a full length of hallway to look at it -- so that the angle of our line of site would include it.

So, in the registration room (a converted hotel room (or maybe it was once a conference room), we found one young woman in what appeared to be the Casual Friday version of a DoubleTree uniform sitting behind a desk that was covered with stuff (no pretty counter, but we'll forgive that). There was another woman with her, who was wearing jeans.  The one in uniform deferred repeatedly to the one in jeans.  The only thing about the transaction that felt like checking into a real DoubleTree was that we walked out the door with keys and slightly warm cookies.  Otherwise, it felt more like checking into a  cheap hotel -- the kind you see in movies but are unlikely to actually want to stay in.

We tried to forgive this.  We were tired. It was after 8:00 p.m., and we'd just gotten off the highway after a 3 or 3 1/2 hour drive.  And we were hungry.

So, we popped upstairs, dumped our suitcases, and checked out the information in the room about the restaurant.  Our receptionist/desk clerk person had assured us that the restaurant was open ... and "just down the hall" from the room they were using to register guests.  We tried not to let the fact that we hadn't actually noticed anything that looked like a restaurant as we passed down the hallway deter us.  We also checked our phones for nearby restaurant information (yay smart phones).  While my research on the Tilted Kilt's menu almost got us to walk across the parking lot to try it out, The Divine Elizabeth's Yelp research warned us off. (One of the reviews starts thusly, "Being told this place is like a loud Hooters but the waitresses dress like they're extras from the Britney Spears, "Hit me One More Time" video is exactly right.").   So, we looked at the menu for the DoubleTree's restaurant, and decided it would be okay.

Again, the wee sign identifying the conference room as the current restaurant was poorly placed.  You kind of had to know where to look to find it.  Of course, the fact that the room didn't look like a restaurant didn't help. For reasons I can't quite imagine, they didn't use any of the furniture from their old restaurant.  They had it set up like a conference ... with conference chairs etc.  But the table service was the familiar good-hotel heavy silverware,

and there were standard tablecloths and napkins.  So, that was okay.  But ...

 It went down hill from there.

First up... we asked for water, and our waitress brought us two waters.  One came in a glass like this:

And the other in a glass that looked like this:

 

Seriously.

??????

Yeah, this was a clue.  We were too tired to catch it.

So, we placed our order from the menu that looks very promising, despite the very make-shift set up in the "dining" room.  After a while, my salad arrived.

It's a pretty reasonable Caesar Salad (but then again, it's hard to really mess up a Caesar Salad), but notice the fork.  This fork does not come close to matching the fork already in our place settings. 

The difference is obvious. This fork, in fact, looks and feels like it came from a cheap diner. 

Denny's wouldn't use this fork.

Weird.

The Divine Though Blogless Elizabeth's soup had also arrived.  It looked like French Onion soup should look. It even smelled mostly like French Onion soup should smell.  But the Swiss cheese just didn't work.  I got a sub par fork, she got sub par soup.

Alas, when the food arrived, it was.... well.... sub sub par.  While it is true that it bore some passing resemblance to the descriptions in the menu, the food did not at all live up to the promise.  We might even have asked that the burger  be sent back to get us one that wasn't quite well-done instead of medium had the waitress managed to stop back by the table before we had eaten all we could stomach.

When she finally did arrive and asked how our meal was, we acknowledged that we were disappointed.  She sort of apologized, but not really.  We then asked that she just split the check down the middle and gave her our credit cards.  She returned with two tabs that differed by about $1.50. She couldn't figure out which card went with which charge...  because she couldn't figure out how to split a check in half.  She came close to the split (of course, our orders were similarly priced), but not a 50/50 split.   We gave up, paid and retreated to our room.

There was more fun waiting....

While the bathroom was clean, we did note one minor problem.

Something is missing here.... 

Oh yes!  Most sinks have stoppers in them.  These stoppers not only serve to close the drain entirely, should you want to fill it, but also serve to prevent things from falling down the drain should your slippery wet hands lose their grip.  Things like......

toothpaste tube caps.  (or... rings).

Luckily, this particular room was being inhabited by knitters.  Knitters tend to travel with extra tools in their kits -- tools like crochet hooks.  Crochet hooks are pretty good for fishing things out of drains.

Sigh.

In the morning, as we packed up our belongings to leave, I searched the room for a comment card.  There were none.

Then, as we were leaving, we encountered a person in the elevator.  There was nothing discernible about him that would have clued us in to the fact that he was, in fact, a hotel employee.  He was wearing jeans and a button down shirt.  There was some sort of swipe tag hanging around his neck, but we couldn't see the front.  In theory, it could have been a name tag... but who knows.  His hair style was very... shall we say... progressive.  Edgy, even.  And that two day beard growth did not meet what I've come to recognize as the professional look of hotel employees in most DoubleTrees. We were thus rather surprised when he asked how our stay had been. 

We were more surprised when we told him it had been somewhat disappointing and he said something that resembled an "I'm sorry to hear that," but didn't quite make it.  When we told him about the missing stopper, he agreed that it wasn't right, and said he'd fix it. That, at least, was encouraging.

I stopped in at the "office/reception desk" on our way out and asked for a comment card.  The person behind the desk (again, not in a recognizable hotel uniform), offered only the card they have on which one is supposed to praise some employee for going above and beyond the call of duty.  I refrained from telling her that the employees I'd encountered so far hadn't met the hotel's usual standards.  She said that the hotel is trying to get people to take online surveys instead of filling out cards.  She stuck with what I assume is the new standard -- she didn't even ask whether we'd enjoyed our stay.  (I guess that means the guy in the elevator went above and beyond then). 

Now... I dont' believe that all hotels should provide five star service.  And I dont' automatically assume that because someone has an edgy hair style and wears jeans he's not good enough to represent his hotel.   But I do think that when you're a chain as big as DoubleTree, and when you tend to charge the rates DoubleTree tends to charge, that there ought to be a standard level of service and quality across the chain, and that every hotel in that chain ought to meet minimum standards.  This one did not come close.

I'll be sharing these thoughts with the folks at DoubleTree.  If they DO decide to do something about it, I will, of course, let you all know.  But for now, I'll be much more careful about making a reservation at another DoubleTree for a while.

Stitches, on the other hand, was every bit as overwhelming in a good way as it ever was.

 Added:  I tried to contact DoubleTree about our experience.  The web site offers a couple of ways to send them information.  The general contact email option gives you 500 characters, which doesn't exactly give me room to explain the whole thing...  The recent stay survey thing gives you a few more characters, but no where near enough... and they limit you to one of three specific issues, thus excluding some of the above mentioned problems. So, I tried to send them a link to this post.  I can't tell from their page whether the message I tried to send to guest relations actually went.  That may or may not be another issue.

Whining...

I've been pretty good about posting positive things lately.  Heck, I've had posts that are nothing but telling the world I'm grateful for things.  But today... I'm cranky.

Sure, I'm still very grateful for lovely moments with Bookworm (she woke me with coffee!  And then, later in the day, she bought me more coffee.)

And yes, I'm also grateful for a generally good life. 

But, I'm really cranky about the amount of time I've spent today working on medical bills.  While I'm not happy with the size of the bills (who is?), that's not what's making me cranky.

We are a family of four mostly healthy people.  All of our doctors (including some, but not all of the dental professionals) work at the same organization.  That ought to make things pretty simple, right? 

Wrong.

Some of the complexity comes to use courtesy of  HIPAA, which requires the clinic to create a separate billing account for any mental health care charges one might have, so that no one seeing a regular medical bill can tell that you've ever seen a mental health care professional.  But that ought to mean we have two accounts to deal with.

Nope.  We've got ten, or is it fourteen?  I can't even TELL how many separate accounts we four have with our health care providers.  I get upwards of six bills at a time.  All of them from the same folks -- but with different account numbers. 

I'm not kidding.  I get two separate bills from the C**** Physician Group.  Golf Pro gets three separate bills from teh C**** Physician Group.  Bookworm has one of her own from the C**** Physician Group.  And, even though one has labs done right there at the same clinic where the doctors' offices are, they get billed through the C**** Foundation Hospital -- so I have one account with them; and for some reason Golf Pro has somewhere between one and three, but they show up on one bill.  Of course if you are actually in the hospital and see a doctor, the Hospital doesn't bill you -- C**** Physician SERVICES bills you.  But wait... if you see one of the dental surgeons, they have their own separate account numbers (still under the C**** Physician Group name... ).  I'm lost before I even look at the bills.

But you know, one can slow down, and take one step at a time, right?  Look at each bill as just another bill.  How bad can that be? I mean, I can (and do) put all the little payment slips for the same billing entity in one envelope and mail them together (yes, I've put five different slips in one envelope going to C**** Physician Group, each with a separate payment via a credit card).  So why does it take hours?

Here's why:

When they bill you, they don't tell you which doctor you saw.  And, they don't necessarily allocate your co-pay to the charge you thought it applied to.  And though they swear that they allocate any payment not designated as a co-pay to the oldest outstanding charge, they don't actually do that.  Heck, sometimes they split payments between accounts! (If they can do that, why can't they just send one freakin' bill???)

And they usually divide up any given payment between several charges.

And.... if you've actually paid a charge off with a payment, that whole thing disappears from your next statement, so you can't SEE that the payment was allocated to a given charge.  We were actually all caught up for several months -- our co-pays kept us fully paid.  So, we didn't get statements at all.  That meant that I never got confirmation from them that they'd received and allocated the whole payment for any payment we made.

This has meant that I have to call the patient accounts office monthly to request detailed statements that actually reveal most of the information you might need.  Those statements take weeks for them to produce.  And today, I found one in which they'd allocated part of one of my payments to a charge that had been fully paid for by insurance.

Of course one of today's bills included two co-payments, but didn't actually include the charges for which those co-payments were made!

This complex slight of hand with the payments sometimes means that they don't, in fact, allocate the whole payment -- which leaves a few dollars here and a few more there just... hanging out there.  Of course, if a payment hasn't been allocated to a charge -- they don't count it as having actually been made when they tell you the total amount you should send in.  It'll count on the next statement (maybe),once they 've allocated it.  And sometimes... they change the allocations -- so that something you were sure was paid off, isn't anymore, and something else has some or all of that payment as a credit.

It's so confusing that I've taken to making up my own spread sheets.  They show the charges, the insurance allocations, and my payment allocations on one worksheet -- and the payment I've made and their allocations on a second worksheet (just to verify that they line up, which they don't always do).  So, in paying their bill, I seem to have two worksheets for each of those nine, er, ten, um, fourteen?? accounts.  It's a pain in the *ss.  But it saved me over $500.00 one year (they'd actually failed to fully allocate that much).

This doesn't stop them from threatening collection.  There was a $12.78 charge for something to do with the lab (I think it was the charge for the phlebotomist doing the stick (the tests get billed by someone else).  I'd paid it, by sending in the statement with a credit card number etc.  Then I got another bill, and paid that.  But they'd hauled off and allocated both payments to a different account anyway.  So then, I got a call warning me that the account in question was about to go to collection. 

And forget about making things work out if you're using Quicken to keep track of things.  "Reconciling" a statement is just plain impossible.

This makes me very cranky.

I don't mind paying my bills (much).  I have even almost gotten over the gross injustice that is our mental health care coverage.  But I really resent having to put in a full days work each month just trying to figure out the bill.  If I thought for an instant that I could trust them to really allocate the whole payment every time, I might just write the checks -- but I've learned over and over again that I can't trust them to do that. 

I wish I could bill them for my time.

If continuity of care weren't so darned important to me, I swear I'd drop them and go in search of medical professionals whose business office has any respect for their patients at all.

It makes me wonder -- is this standard for the medical industry? or just the special behavior of our local medical professionals' business office?

 

 

Disgusted and angry

I try not to make this blog a vent-fest, but today takes the cake.

About a week ago, maybe 10 days, there was a theft at the girls' school. That particular theft had all sorts of bonus ramifications that means it affected lots of folks... and still has almost daily impacts on us.

Ya see, the marching band has ... well... band class during the last class of the day in lieu of P.E.  Ordinarily, they bring their stuff to the  room hey use for the instrument locker, trade backpacks for instruments, and board the bus to the field where they practice.  Their stuff stays, moderately secure, the  Instrument Locker (the room).  The band wing is ordinarily closed, but not locked, so that those band members who are not in marching band can fetch their instruments after school ('cause the marching band folk don't get back 'til about 20 minutes after school lets out).  But some [expletive deleted] individual thought it would be a good plan to rifle through all of the back packs and purses (which aren't allowed on the marching field or bus) while the kids were marching, and they took wallets and iPods and well over $400.00 in cash.

The result?  a foreign exchange student now can't buy the laptop that would have enabled her to email her parnts.  And the band wing is now locked before the last class of the day, and anyone needing to get an instrument either has to take it to their last class with them (which is no big deal for flute players -- but the bigger brass instruments ... well... it's a bit of a challenge), or wait until 25 minutes after school lets out to get it.  This means that if they take a bus... they miss it.

Evidently, the rsult did not include informing all of the administrators of the problem.  How do I know that?  Well, today I talked to one of the assistant principals about another theft, and she was unaware of the band wing problem.

Let me repeat that.  One of the assistant principals in the school was, or at least proclaimed to be, unaware of a theft at that school that involved over $500.00 in cash and property, and which has resulted in police reports and other law enforcement investigations. 

Why does this sound like no systemic action was taken?  Maybe because I'm hearing the echoes of this afternoon... and that "other theft" I mentioned above.

That other theft?  Bookworm has been diligently selling candy bars as a fund raiser.  When she went into her computer tech class today, she had sold 35 out of 40 bars in her box (her second one) at $1.00 each, and thus had a box with 5 chocolate bars and $35.00 in cash.  Part 1 of that class has everyone in their seats at the front of the room.  Part 2 of that class has everyone in the back of the room, behind a partition wall, working on their computers.  They're supposed to leave their backpacks etc. at their desks.  So, Bookworm put down the box, covered it with her jacket, and covered that with her backpack.... and went to the computers to do her work.  When she returned, all the money was gone.

Even though I think she should have kept the cash on her person at all times, it's still truly disheartening to learn that a) someone stole from her DURING CLASS, and b) with the school having recently experienced a theft seems to have done nothing about increasing security somehow.

I know that $35.00 is a drop in the bucket compared to the hundreds of dollars involved in the band room mess... but the sense of betrayal, and violation is still pretty strong.  How do you maintain a sense of being safe, much less any school spirit, when stuff like this happens?

So... I'm disgusted and angry.  All I can do for Bookworm is replace the money she earned with our own money.  I can't help her feel safer at school.

I really hope that whoever stole that money needs it more than we do... that it's going to buy dinner for his/her whole family for a couple of days.

I also hope that someday soon, I hear about an assembly at school devoted to protecting oneself from theft.... and maybe even on why theft really is more than just a prank.

On People Pushing their Faith in my Face

I belong to an e-mail list that purports to be about dance.  In particular, it's purpose in the world is to inform interested folks in the community about the dates, times, and locations of opportunities to get out and dance (swing, west-coast swing, salsa, night-club tango -- stuff like that).

Yesterday's post, however, was somthing completely different.  It reminded me of some of the things we get on Facebook -- and of other things I generally consider spam.  I wound up respnding to the fellow who sent it in a way that was pretty honest, but may yet get me evicted from the list    But, doing so made me realize that this is one of those things that I'd like to discuss with thoughtful people... so I'm tossing it out here.

The email I received said this- in all sorts of fancy fonts and big letters which I'll spare you:

"BY A 15 yr. Old SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA     

 New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME)! 

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer not allowed in most Public schools anymore because the word 'God' is mentioned..... A kid in   Arizona wrote the attached

  NEW School prayer:
I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene..
The law is specific, the law is precise..
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all..
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong..
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires andtotem poles..
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen

If you aren't ashamed to do this,  Please pass this on..
Jesus said,  'If you are ashamed of me,  I will be ashamed of you before my Father.'

Now, I totally understand that the whole debate about whether or not to keep the prhase "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance really gets to some people, I struggle with getting stuff like this in public forms.  I finally gave in, and responded to him...

These are the thoughts I shared (which, of course, I've edited slightly for you all, because, well... I coudln't stop myself).  (I have neglected to go through and point out the factual errors in the lines of the poem that are inaccurate reflections of the state of the law.)

Hey --
Got your thing about the Pledge of Allegiance ---  didn't want to respond to the WHOLE group, but I find myself compelled to respond.  Here are my thoughts:
First --- about the pledge of allegiance it self.

The pledge of allegiance, when required at any public school, becomes a State Action (legally speaking).  The United States Constitution clearly separates Church and State, and prohibits us from making any law (or from any State Action) that discriminates  on the basis of religion, or impedes any one's right to freely practice his or her religion

Even though the majority of U.S. citizens may well be Christian, this is NOT a Christian nation.  This is a nation which allows complete freedom to each of us to practice our own religions, whatever they may be, so long as doing so does not violate any other law (e.g. ritual sacrifice of live oxen in the middle of the public streets is likely to be forbidden).

The pledge of allegiance (which was written in 1892) did not contain a reference to god anywhere until 1951, when the Knights of Columbus added it to their verson of the pledge.  Over the next few years, there was a push to get that phrase change added, and in 1954, the change was affirmed by congress. (Historical note, the phrase, "of the United States of America" was also not part of the original pledge). It started as a truly non-denominational statement of patriotism, and not of religious afflilation or persuasion. The original pledge reads:

I pledge allegiance to my Flag and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

 -- Taking the phrase "under god" away again now, as our country is so openly home to peoples of so many religions, seems more in keeping with the original premise upon which we built this country than does keeping it there.

Not every patriotic American is Christian.  That's been true from the beginning.  Furthermore, not every religion worships a deity which (who?) is referred to as "God".  Some religions are polytheistic -- they recognize more than one god -- and many goddesses.  To these, the statement "under God" is blasphemous.

Just as we are all allowed to worship our own deities... we are allowed to NOT worship.  Forcing an atheist to say "under God" is forcing a religion on him or her -- which would be, well, against the Constitution. I consider it a patriotic act to uphold our constitution.  Seems like the time when we make a statement affirming our patriotism ought to be a time when we uphold the Constitution.

We do not require anyone to swear on the Bible in court for just these reasons.

I don't think ANYONE is prohibited from praying in school -- the public schools, however, are not allowed to define a time or form for prayer, because doing so would constitute a state action, and thus would violate the constitution.  If you want to say grace at lunch, no school employee will prohibit you from doing so (even if some of your peers may tease you). 

I then went on to address that closing line about passing the thing on if I'm not ashamed to do it.  I'm not ashamed to do it.  I am, however, a little embarrassed.... because I find things like this feel like diatribes against everyone who is not a certain kind of Christian.  Heck, Jehovah's Witnesses objected (and sued -- and won) to a requirement to say the pledge bacause to them, they were being asked to put the country above God -- pledging the flag was seen as a kind of idolatry.

So, as I told the person who sent me the email, I'm not ashamed of my faith -- but I don't necessarily think it's anyone else's business -- certainly not to the extent that I find it appropriate to proselytize in open forums. 

JESUS didn't teach that we should go out and force things down other's throats.  Nor did He teach that we should wear our faith like a badge of honor.  He taught us to love one another, to be kind, and gentle, and generous, and to forgive one another.
He did not teach us to condemn each other for our choices or our failings, but rather to offer a consoling, forgiving hand to help each other up.

I think the posts like the one about the kid who wrote the poem about the Pledge of Allegiance should be shared with those who have ASKED for them, and who find them heart-warming.  But I worry that they tend to alienate good people when sent to those who don't share the sender's beliefs.  In fact, they alienate me -- even if I do share the sender's beliefs, because they seem to be saying "is your faith as good as mine" or even "my faith is better than your faith" ...

And then there's the part where I think it's wholly inappropriate to assume that everyone on ANY list-serve (yahoo group) that is devoted to something as wide reaching as a dance group shares your religion, your faith, or your approach. 

In the end, I asked whether there is there any way to take me off the list of folks who get posts that can be read as saying "I believe in Jesus and if you don't (and maybe even if you don't believe enough, or in the right way) you're wrong" without losing access to the Dance information?  We'll see what he says.

In the mean time, what do you all think of that kind of email?

 

 

How to lose friends and alienate customers

I've dithered for two solid days about posting this.  If my wise, conservative brain were working harder, I probably would refrain.  But my wild, impulsive brain, along with it's injured party self, appear to still be in charge.

Saturday morning, I had THE WORST experience ever in a yarn shop.

Worse than the time the owner of a yarn shop else-where glared disapprovingly at my then 4 and 6 year old daughters, just knowing that their hands had to be dirty and sticky (they were clean), and just knowing that despite their actual behavior (very gently touching balls of yarn that were attractive to them, but not pulling any out of their bins until they found the ONE that they wanted me to knit something for them with), they were going to haul all the yarn out onto the floor, covering each skein with the equivalent of honey covered dirt and lint and stuff.  Needless to say, I did not wind up buying yarn to knit either of them a project that day.

Worse than the time I was ignored completely by all the staff, possibly because I was in an upscale neighborhood wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and was thus prevented from spending a couple hundred dollars on yarns I wanted.

Worse than..... well...here's what happened:

My friend and I went into a yarn store where two things were happening:  1) there was a sale on some of their yarns and 2) they were offering a limited supply of highly sought-after, otherwise-unavailable-in-town yarn (so limited that they had a nice sign saying "one to a customer").  When we arrived there were two other customers in the store; one who was about to make a purchase, and one who was looking at the limited supply yarn.

We looked at the yummy yarn, and only after the other customer had walked away, did we each pick up a couple of skeins, contemplating the colors.   She said hello, pleasantly enough, and pointed out that we could each only have one.  We acknowledged the limitations, and told her we were deciding about colors.  At the time, we were the only people looking at that yarn.

We carried our possible choices around, dithering, holding them up to the light, lamenting that we had to choose.  At one point one of us made a comment about not "needing" more yarn, but acknowledging how hard it is to resist the good stuff.  She said that if we didn't need it, we should put it back; someone else would happily buy it.  (?)  We laughed it off, pointing out that "need" rarely had anything to do with whether or not we actually bought yarn.

I looked about at the other sale yarns, and then went on a quest for a yarn that would meet Kitty's requirements for the item she's asked me to knit for her (fingerless gauntlets that will be lacy and pretty but will NOT make her hands hot).  I found a linen blend (NOT on sale) that I thought might do, but, at first blush, it appeared that there was only one skein of the only color that I thought might work.  I dug around some more, in other baskets and displays, looking for something else that would do, and found that lo! there were two skeins of the potentially magic yarn.  I took them to my friend to see what she thought.

I then borrowed her phone (having run away from home without mine) to call home to see if this new to the discussion color would suit.  Kitty said that it would be marvelous.

Meanwhile, my friend was also roving the shop, fondling other yarns -- some sale, but most not, and trying to figure out if she could substitute one yarn they had for one that a sweater pattern she wants to knit asks for. (Yep, she's trying to buy not only one skein of the "special" yarn, but a whole sweater's worth of something else.)

During this time, one or two other customers may have come in, but we were never in their way.  We did talk with one of her employees, who was otherwise engaged in knitting swatches from the balls of yarn that were out for "yarn tasting" - and who asked us our opinion on a book that the owner was considering carrying.  As far as I could tell, we were working our way in to more purchases than we'd planned for... and were not in anyone's way... and were not, in fact, monopolizing the staff's time.

Which is why I was dumbfounded when the  Owner came up to us and told us that it was time for us to leave!  She said that "days like this" are not good days to just come spend three hours in the yarn store.

???????

Had I not just found yarn for Kitty's project, after literally months of scouting and intermittent internet searches for just the right thing, I would have walked out the door then and there.  My friend felt the same way.

I did make my purchase.... (and since I'd decided to spend any money at all, went ahead and got a skein of the "special" yarn as well -- though I may wind up selling it to my friend), but as of now, I intend to avoid darkening her door ever again.  My friend felt the same way -- in fact she was more hurt and offended than I was.

When we got to our car, we found that --- including the literally 10 minutes it took her to ring up two purchases (totaling five balls of yarn between the two of us), we'd spent less than an hour in the store.  We also noticed that despite the fact that she'd marked off as having been used a discount card that my friend had, she had not, in fact, given her the discount.

All I can say is WTF????

A whole lotta nuttin.

I got not much right now.

Bookworm performed in an awesome band concert Thursday night.  The sixth graders sounded better than any sixth grade band has any business sounding, and then the 7th/8th grand band just rocked.  Even the pieces that I didn't particularly like were played so well!  Totally in tune, all the time... which meant that I spent most of the time with goosebumps. (Perfectly tuned chords do that to me).

Their last piece included all sorts of technical rhythmic challenges that one really does not expect to encounter in a middle school performance (try changing time signatures between 3/4 and 5/4 willy nilly throughout a piece that started in 4/4 time).  But, as I've come to expect with this director, they handled the piece with panache. Full auditorium gave a well deserved Standing O ... absolutely. And not just 'cause they were our kids either.

I was not in a good zone for photography.  All I've got for you is this:

 

well... and this

As you can see, Wings of Bambu has become so scrunched up on it's needles that it's not posing well for pictures.

Though it is open enough to show the place where I diverged from the pattern... ahem.

I could try another close up of Irtfa'a, but, well, four more rows won't impress anyone.

Mostly, all I want to do is vent about how frustrated I am with the fellow who was allegedly going to get this painting job done in 4 days, 5 tops, and who is STILL here (yes, today) three weeks later.

Instead, I offer you an adorable dog --

taken on one of my knit-night buddies cell phones.  I guess we wore her out with all our laughter.

And a very cute kitty demonstrating her cuddling/knit-prevention skills

She did notice the picture taking...

Uh oh, political stuff

I really do try to keep my politics out of the blog.  But I was recently asked to sign a petition that I think is important regardless of your politics.  Sure, I do agree with the political stance of the petitioners, but more importantly, I am distressed by the unfairness that the petition seeks to fight.

Here's the message inviting me to sign:

The broadcast networks that air the Super Bowl have historically rejected advocacy ads. Yet CBS, which is airing the Super Bowl this year, has accepted an anti-choice ad by the ultra-conservative group Focus on the Family.

Focus on the Family's "celebrate life" (read: anti-choice) ad features Heisman Trophy-winning college football star Tim Tebow. And CBS approved this anti-choice ad, even though the network has repeatedly rejected advocacy ads in past years including a 2004 MoveOn.org ad that went after then-President Bush's fiscal irresponsibility and an ad the same year from the United Church of Christ showing them welcoming a gay couple who had been turned away from another church. And they just rejected a comical ad from a gay dating site from this year's lineup of ads.

So to recap: CBS wouldn't allow a group to criticize Bush, wouldn't let a religious group promote its own tolerance of LGBT families and considers a light-hearted dating ad out of bounds. But CBS is perfectly happy to allow Focus on the Family to promote its conservative social agenda.

Join me in calling on CBS to kill the Focus on the Family ad before the Super Bowl on February 7!

http://act.credoaction.com/campaign/superbowl_focus/?r_by=7560-1836001-.jNUdEx&rc=paste1

If CBS wants to allow advocacy ads, they should allow them all.  I find it offensive that they're now about to air an anti-choice ad not because I disagree with the premise behind the ad, but because they've refused to air an ad advocating tolerance of GLTB families or gay dating, and they've refused to air an ad objecting to fiscal responsibility.  They're changing the rules mid-stream here.... and that I find offensive.

I also find it offensive that they're picking one side of a volatile issue to effectively support.  Aren't they supposed to help us see a balanced view?  They're not Fox, whose bias is now so well known it's practically a joke.  CBS  has been at least moderately fair and mostly balanced. If they want to run an anti-choice ad -- they should run a pro-choice ad in a similarly prominent time.

Of course, I think I prefer the ban on such ads altogether.  But then, I hate ads in general, and would like nothing more than to see things like ads for prescription medications banned.

Last Day on the Road - Starts a little grouchy.

We are in Nashville, where today we plan to go to the Parthenon.

Unfortunately, I woke with a head congested so badly it feels like I gained ten pounds -- all in my sinuses.  Bleah.  I will not let this keep me down, but I sure wish it had waited one more day.  I hate being sick on the road.  It means I'm a little grouchy.

Perhaps that's why I'm not as thrilled as I'm sure the folks over at Tinkerbell Checks want me to be.  They've sent me an email telling me that I'm the featured blog on their Blog Awards Page.  Usually, I like receiving awards.  And being a featured blog is pretty nifty.   But this one comes with a catch that, alas, pushes one of my buttons.

They want me to set up a link to them on my main page.  By that, I presume they mean my side bar, so it will be there for days on end.  This is the best they get. I'll acknowledge them, and the award, but I'm not into providing free advertising for businesses I don't know. Their main page (where they sell checks and deposit tickets and address labels and such) has no place to link to the Blog Awards page (where this blog is indeed the currently listed Featured Blog) so my link to that wouldn't be a nice little reciprocal love-fest. 

If I'm going to set up a specific ad, I need to feel as though I can honestly endorse the folks on the other end.  Unfortunatley, I have no idea whether their products or services  are top quality or dreadful. Until I can be sure that I'm not sending you to a scam artist, I'm not going to set up an ad to them ... because that pretty much means I'm endorsing them, which I can't do without ordering from them.  But I don't need checks right now.  If you really want to get the link to their personal checks sales page, let me know, and I'll email you (0r you seem to be able to get to it from the "Add New" link/tab thing on the awards page).

I'm not much of an advertising fan, personally. What's that you say? Don't I regularly provide links to business where I've received excellent service or from whom I've received excellent products?  Why yes.  I do.  But those are acknowledgments from me.  They're not ads provided by or sought by the businesses.  Generally, the businesses have no idea that my blog is going to talk about them. (Well, okay, I ask LYSO's if I can blog them and their shops, but they never ask me to do it).  The advertising I'm talking about is driven by either the business, or the advertising industry itself.  Like the stuff over there in the side bar, which pays for this blog. I don't have much control over them (other than being able to tell them not to run ads about certain types of things).  If I could pay for the blog by running ads for things I truly endorse, I'd be much happier.  But I can't.  So, in a sense, we're both prey to the advertising industry anyway - becuase I have to rely on BlogHer to put reasonable ads over there in my side bar. 

I think that the advertising industry has become something more than a little twisted, and has lost track of the positive purpose with which it started -- helping people find the things they need, and helping those who make the things people need reach the people who need them. Blog Her, through which I run my ads, is not actually endorsing any of those products either... it's focus is finding a way to help bloggers like me earn a little money with our blogs, to help keep women blogging.  But the industry as a whole is .... different.  It's now more focused on persuading people they need something that they'd likely be able to live full happy lives without - which then prompts more people to make more things we don't need (using up resources and otherwise fill up landfills).  And advertisers don't really seem to be constrained by the need to be truly honest.  They might not knowingly tell outright lies, but there are lies of omission all over the TV screens and magazine pages.

I mean, c'mon... how many different kinds of crackers do we truly need?  What about make-up?  Will we all survive, and even find mates, if no one wears mascara?  Probably.  And yet, I see ads all the time for better mascara. 

Will we all manage to stay connected with last year's cell phone? probably (I sure do).  And if advertising were less involved, they'd likely make the phones to last longer, and not feel the need to come out with bigger better faster brighter more featured every freakin' year.

I'm all for innovation.  But when it's driven by the need for new that advertising gives us?  It's a waste.

I'm all for saving money -- but when that gives us low quality disposable crap, we're not really saving money; and we're filling the landfills and using up resources faster than the Earth can replenish them. 

I blame advertising for the toys in happy meals... and we SO don't need those (or the junk food for that matter).

I understand that advertising money is what pays for my TV shows, and my newspaper etc. (and my blog).  But I wonder.  To what extent would our buying habits really change if we never saw ads?  What if we only saw ads for new things -- to alert us to the fact that a new thing exists.  Would we stop buying triscuits or diet coke just because the advertising stopped?  Would we switch brands?  Would we suddenly start buying VW's instead of Toyotas?  really?  And in the end... would our products be cheaper because the advertising bill wouldn't be rolled into the cost?

all this blather is sort of why I wont' run ads for the check folks who are promoting my blog.  Sorry. 

I'm gonna go out and see Athena now.  Perhaps she'll put me in a better mood.

We are NOT amused

My blog has been found by the evil spammers.

While TypePad has been doing a masterful job at keeping the spam from actually going through so you can see it, I'm still getting notifications about every spam comment.

I posted late last night.  I checked email today -- went to see if I'd gotten any comments on the latest pocket story, and saw that there were 23 new comments waiting for me.  Wheee!  Except that 21 of them were actually spam inviting me to come see what sound like truly repulsive porn sites.

That makes the "real" comments more precious in one way -- but still leaves me sad that all that crap is coming into my in box.  If it keeps up, I may have to add an evil captcha thing to my comments  :-(

I hate them.  I really do.  But if this keeps up, at least you'll know why I've done it to you.

I'm too irked by those spammers to even do the Unconscious Mutterings today.

Unfortunately, though I am pleased wtih TypePad for it's ability to protect you from reading the spam crap that some lesser persons seem compelled to send, I am really DISPLEASED with them for their treatment of the good comments and my ability to respond to them.

Without any warning whatsoever, TypePad has hijacked your email addresses.  Last week, when someone wrote a comment to a post, TypePad sent it to me by email.  The sender of the email was TypePad, but the "reply to" information was the email address you included. 

THIS week, the reply to information looks something like this:
reply-3P3N5JZE2qlmNZI_4A77NRnU6X7RF@typepad.com  (okay, I've rearranged some letters, and added a few). 

This means that I have a hard time communicating directly and personally to my commenters (unless I already have your email addresses), because, as far as I can tell, my replies don't GO to the commenter.  (If I'm wrong on this, please let me know.  Today, I responded to Anita and Sylvia before realizing this)

My replies go to the comment section on that post!!!  (Ifyou've not received a response to a comment you made recently, check the posts -- I only just figured this out).  Since I'm sending the reponses, they don't appear in my email as being there and they're not even on the list of comments in that part of the mangement stuff for the site; it was only by checking my site to see if the spam was making it to the page that I found my responses to your comments were being made public.  So nice of them to WARN me.

I really dislike this.  While it may be fine for some types of blogs -- this one has as one of its side features, an ability to engender personal correspondence between me and my readers.  That has led to friendships.  ... to invitations in both directions for me and my readers to meet at conventions, share hotel rooms, spend the night in each others' homes etc.    Phone numbers and addresses get exchanged via private email... NOT gonna happen when the replies go on line!  I'm off to find out how to get this fixed.  If it annoys you too... please, go to http://typepad.com and complain!

Bastards.  This makes me angry enough to consider moving my blog.